Monday, July 23, 2007
It had been about two weeks since Joan left, and I woke up feeling rather good, hopeful. I’m an upbeat kind of guy, so I said to myself, The whole day is ahead of me, enjoy it to the fullest. I’m out of a job, got a little money, and nothing to do all day, so why not relax, read a little, maybe take in a movie.
Since I moved out of my cousin’s house, and Joan’s clutches, things were looking up for me. I’d been offered a room from a friend of mine and he even let me slide on the rent for the rest of the month. It was the fourteenth, so he said I could stay gratis until the first. But I had to get busy; the first is not far away.
But for now, for today, it was a day I had all to myself. That is…until my mother called.
Now don’t get me wrong, I loved my mother like she was my own sister. She was sort of like candy: Very sweet, but only once in awhile, and with long intervals between. Any more than that, and it makes you sick.
She also had this way of doing little irritating things to you–like buying you olive green pullover sweaters. At one point I finally had say, “Ok, mom, stop with the sweaters!” She really was a great lady, but like I said, you had to watch out for her.
She could be dangerous.
Anyway, she called and asked how Joan and I were doing, and I told her that I moved out.
“Why?” she said. “She was so pretty, why didn’t you marry her?”
“Mom, you don’t marry a woman because she’s pretty.”
“It doesn’t hurt,” she said.
“I know, but…look, I told you a thousand times, I don’t want to be married.”
“You two would have had such beautiful babies.”
“Thanks mom”
“Why don’t you do that?” she said, in an excited and bubbly tone.
“Do what?”
“Just have babies.”
I exhaled in exasperation, then stammered, “Wha-what are you talking about, have babies just to have babies?”
“Yes. You could leave it with me, I would take care of it for you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, thank you so much, but I think I’ll pass.”
“I bet Joan would go for it.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I bet she would.”
“No sane woman would.”
“Oh don’t be silly, we could buy it from her.”
“Buy it from her!?”
“Sure, women sell their babies all the time, I saw it on one of my soap operas.”
“First of all, As The World Turns is no place to get your news, and second, you don’t have any money.”
“We could go in on it, pool our money. I bet your sisters would help.”
“Mom, I don’t think you’re cut out to be dealing babies on the black market.”
“Of course not, I mean just one for us.”
“Well, I appreciate the thought, but no thanks,” I said.
“Why don’t we ask Joan. I’ll ask her for you if you want me to, I don’t mind.”
“No, mom, don’t. I don’t know where she is anyway. I think she went back to Alabama.”
“Don’t you know how to get a hold of her?”
“No, she didn’t give a number, or an address.”
“Well…I think you made a mistake not marrying her.”
“I know, I guess I’ll just have to live with it,” I said, desperately wanting to hang up. “Well, I better go, I’ve got to–”
“Wait a minute, I want you to come over here, I have a surprise for you.”
“Not another sweater…”
“No, it’s not another sweater. Can you come by?”
I so very much did not want to come by. I wanted to spend the day in unbound freedom. I’d just gotten out of a relationship with a woman. It was uncomfortable, breaking up with Joan, but I’d done it, I was free. And I wanted to revel in my freedom; freedom from…connectedness, from my mother, from Joan, from women in general. Just one day. I was planning on not even looking at them. Well…not interacting with them anyway, for just a day. My weeks with Joan, and my years with my mother, were starting to take their toll on me and I needed a break.
I stuttered, stopped, stuttered again and said, “Mom, I was hoping to get some things done today.”
“Like what?”
“Oh, I don’t know, just some stuff I need to get done. Can we make it another time?”
“Honey, I haven’t seen you since you and Joan broke up. Come on over, I just want to show you what I got you.”
I groaned, paused, then sighed loudly, thinking it would make my mother let me off the hook.
It didn’t.
“Come on,” she said, ignoring my performance. “It wont hurt you to see your mother once in a while.”
“Well,” I said, shaking my head, “Ok, I’ll be over later.”
“When?”
“Uh…I don’t know, I guess about an hour,” I said, not hiding my frustration.
“Good, I’ll see you then, and we can talk about Joan.”
“I don’t want to talk about Joan!”
“Ok, ok, we can talk about something else. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
“An hour, mom.”
“Ok, an hour. Bye.”
I said goodbye and hung up. She was always getting me something; a clock from a garage sale, pair of shoes a size too big because they were on sale, a jacket…and sweaters.
Oh what the hell. No doubt it would be something I didn’t need or want, but I would take it, thank her, and then throw it away. Hey, if it makes her happy, fine. Usually it’s something that cost her a dime from someone’s front lawn.
I had no idea.
(To be continued)
Keck
