Just got back from the Sooner Con. It’s a sci-fi & fantasy convention that was held here in Oklahoma City over the weekend. I’m not really a science fiction fan, and definitely not a fantasy fan; that is, unless it has to do with brunettes in corsets and heavy make-up. No, the whole sword and sorcerer thing just doesn’t quite flip my switches. Now certain sci-fi authors, Robert Heinlein for instance, does have some good stuff–I’ve actually only read Starship Troopers, and it was quite good–but as a rule, when it comes to fiction I usually read either Horror or the classics. As far as fantasy goes, the only things I‘ve read are Jim Butcher’s Storm front, a kind of wizard/detective novel and the first Harry Potter. Didn’t like the Harry Potter; geared too much to the adolescent. I know, crazy huh? So shoot me. Butcher’s book was very good, not as slow moment that I can remember, but still, not much on the fantasy thing, with one exception: Chicks in Chainmail. Ok, yes, it sounds ridiculous, but it’s really worth a read. It’s an anthology series edited by Esther Friesner, about Amazon women in sexy armor, kicking ass and taking old flames. I love them. For me, it’s mainly a libido thing, but they’re a lot of fun.

   But to the Sooner Con. They’re interesting, kind of weird, and you get to see a lot of fleshy women in strange, and usually revealing, outfits. So I’m going to try and make all of them I can–the Cons, not the women. There’s one in Tulsa in July and if possible, I’m going to be there.

   But the reason for putting it in this week’s column is that I think we need to alert the authorities to these gatherings. I know that at least two-thirds of the people there have dismembered someone in their past at some point. Now don’t get me wrong, I really liked meeting, talking to, and mingling with people from other planets, but some of them…wow! One of the attendees I met said he had a coffin in his bedroom. Now, I realize, I’m a horror writer. That in itself, to some, would put me on the list. But a coffin in your bedroom? I don’t think I could room with that guy. He was nice and entertaining to talk to, but I’ve got an active imagination. When he informed me of his fondness for funerary furniture, it jolted me just a bit. I believe, were we acquaintances, I would forgo his couch even in favor of a Motel 666. It’s not that I’m afraid to sleep in a house with a coffin, it’s that I’m afraid to sleep in a house with a guy that sleeps in a house with a coffin.

   But God bless’em, they live in their own world and seem to be happy in it. Hey, how many of us can say that we are truly happy? Well…I can. But then, they say I’m weird.      

   Not true, by the way.

   But it was an interesting and very enjoyable experience. I’ve only been to one other Sooner Con before, about ten years ago, so I’m no expert, but I liked it. Not being a sci-fi fan, I probably wouldn’t go, but they have some horror booths, books, and other such things along with the science fiction and fantasy themes. Not much, but some. And they usually have published writers giving talks, workshops, and mini-lectures, along with a few publishers; little networking and rubbing important elbows. Always up for that. Being an unpublished writer, I’ll take it when I can get it.

   So if you’re ever invited to one of these things by a Trekki friend, or a friend who’s sweet and kind, with a good heart but just a little too much at times, do yourself a favor…go. You may love it, or you may never want to go to another one. But one day, years later, perhaps in the Autumn of your life on some long and lonely January night as you lay tucked in bed, warm and cozy, you’ll look back on the whole experience and think to yourself, “Did I lock the front door?”

 

   Keck