Romantic Comedies…I can like them. Really. And some are even good. A couple are very good, and I can think of one that is the all time undisputed heavyweight unification champion title holder of romantic comedies, which I will mention a little later. Now let’s be clear- I’m talking about romantic comedies, not romance films. At the risk of sounding like a flexing, hairy chested beer-guzzling Neanderthal, I have to say, I hate romance films. And just to show that I can indeed get in touch with my…hold on…wait a minute…let me…I have to…(deep breaths, Keck–you can do this)…get in touch with my…gulp!...feminine side, I actually liked the movie, An Affair to Remember. There, I said it. And I’m not apologizing for it.

   So I can tell if a film is good, no matter what the genre or subject matter. Art is art, and good art is good, regardless. I’m even planning to write a romantic comedy novel at some point. The idea is morphing into a serious romance story-eeekkk!!!-but I’m man enough to do it. By the way, to all the guys who just spit up their Rolling Rock, don’t worry, as soon as I’m finished with it, I’m going to immediately hunt down and kill something. I just bought a Ruger Vaquero, short barreled, bright stainless .357 magnum and I’m anxious to break it in. But I digress.

   In this column I wanted to tell you about a few romantic comedies. The main reason is so the next time the wives or girlfriends want to get a movie and insist that it’s one where no one gets the hell beaten out of them and nothing gets blown up, at least it’ll be something the guys will be able to stomach. And, a good romantic comedy always puts women into that touchy-feely mood. We like touchy-feely! A romance movie will work better, but I’m willing to go only so far. So without further delay, let’s get to our list.

   The list you are about to see has a common thread; the male characters are real guys–men, with all the testosterone needed for a character to be, well, a man. No metrosexuals here, no bankers (See my March 6 column, Outlaws and Bankers), no guys that gaze into her eyes with forlorn expressions of pusillanimous need. That is, unless of course they’re after something, like their bodies, their money, or their jewels. No, these films are ones with male characters that guys can relate to, identify with, characters that we can respect and admire, like the one played by Kevin Kline in French Kiss. Luke (Kline) is a small time con man inadvertently attached to Meg Ryan’s character, Kate. Timothy Hutton plays her fiancé, but I won’t tell you anymore about it for fear of spoiling anything for you. It’s a little sleeper that didn’t make it very far out of the gate but quite good.

   The Marrying Man, starring Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger is one that hits home for many of us guys. How important is it to be, as one of the characters says, “Hot,” for a chick? Well, I don’t know, in the long run, how important it is, but I do know it’s awfully powerful. And as Baldwin’s character, Charley Pearl finds out, can be dangerous. It has a very good supporting cast and was written by Neil Simon. Basinger plays Vicki Anderson, the fuel that fires the “Hot” factor, and let me tell you, wow! I just went ahead and made myself a pallet in the confession booth at church. It’s funny, fast paced, and Basinger is wonderful in it. She’s one of the few sultry beauties that also has real acting talent. She really is a very good actress and this is one of her best performances.

   A movie of the eighties era that wasn’t just juvenile fluff was The sure thing. John Cusack is traveling cross-country with Daphne Zuniga and as usual, they hate each other. It’s the typical story line; she’s uptight and straight-laced, he’s a free spirited party animal. But even so, it manages to create some originality for itself. Lots of great lines and although this is Cusack’s break out film, he shows his talent in true Cusack form with an excellent performance.

   A movie that isn’t really a great film, but well worth watching and does have many great moments is Overboard with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, another typical concept of two opposite characters thrown together, but with a slight twist to the norm. She’s wealthy, witchy, and spoiled, he’s lower class, rugged, and sweaty. Due to unusual circumstances, they have been thrown together and we see some wonderful things resulting from it. Both Russell and Hawn are superb in their roles, and it’s a lot of fun.

   And now, for the finale, and truly a work of filmmaking genius. This movie is, without s doubt, the greatest romantic comedy ever made. I think it’s not only due to the fantastic performances, writing, and direction, but it also has that man-woman struggle in it, that age-old pursuit of love and sex. Of course, nowadays, with the sexual revolution a distant memory, and a guy easily able to bed a woman with hardly any effort, it may seem dated. But if you can remove yourself from the raunchy, promiscuous culture in which we live today and suspend your understanding of our lax morality, you will be able to enjoy this film immensely. I’ll tease you no further. The movie is Pillow Talk, 1959. Doris day and Rock Hudson both are peerless in this film. It’s the story of a womanizing bachelor and a sexually repressed single woman who share a party line. Doris day does an amazing job here, but Rock Hudson turns in one of the best performances in a comic role I’ve ever seen by an actor. He’s never been much of an actor, but in this, he sparkles with perfect timing, and skill, with nuances that only the best of thespians could pull off. Tony Randall is marvelous in the supporting role of Hudson’s friend and Day’s out-of-his- league suitor. The script is almost unequaled, the direction is tight and flawless and the pacing is shear perfection. If see only one romantic comedy in your life, make it this one.

   So there you have it. You won’t be disappointed in any of these, and you will probably be thanking me after you’ve seen them. Remember though, it’s just my opinion, and if you see them and don’t like some or all of the ones I’ve listed here, then it only means you have lousy taste. And guys, trust me. The men in these films are easily relatable…kinda’ like us Outlaws (ibid Outlaws and Bankers). And ladies, don’t worry. As usual, in all of these films, the women win in the end.

   Enjoy.